Back To The Drawing Board

I am well aware that I haven’t posted a thing in this blog for forever but rather than bombarding you with excuses that I’d rather tweet on Twitter (@dorasmonolgues) I’d just tell you about being inspired and hopefully to inspire another soul who may be in the rut right now.

I’ve always wanted to write a book. It has been a dream of mine since I was aware of what a book is and how it is made. So this dream has been long since overdue, like this post, and I’m going to be real honest with you because we’re friends and this is the internet, I have not made one conscious effort in making this dream a reality.

Some would argue that this blog a step towards that. But let’s be real. A book is only made when there is real commitment and I have none of that so far. It sucks, knowing what you want to do but feel like you have no real power to do it. Of course I can write a book. Any dum dum who puts their mind to it can write a book. But hardly anyone gets published. I get so down when I have this supposedly great idea and then found out later, some teen came up with almost the same idea and it’s already on it’s way to be the next Jennifer Lawrence movie.

There will be days where I would just type away some great story I cooked up in my head and while my fingers are busy typing and my heart is beating so hard and my brain is already thinking of all the people I’d care to thank in my acknowledgements the sucky side of me takes over and then I’d get insecure of my grammar and I proceed to spell check everything and then I’d remember there is this cat video I need to check on YouTube and then I’m back to not pursuing my dream.

I find little to no inspiration most days but there will be days where all I want to do is write and not care about how many ‘s’ is there in ‘disappointed’ and today is an inspirational day.

I’ve always been a reader, I guess you have to be to want to become a writer, right? But I haven’t really pick up a book and really commit to it until today. I decided to reread this book by this really famous content creator in YouTube and instantly felt inspired to write my experiences and how I want other people to read them and learn from my mistakes so they’d be less of an idiot (hopefully).

So what I’m going on about is this, it is never too late or too early to pursue your dreams but also don’t beat yourself up for not following some 10 year plan because life sucks and it is great at the same time and sometimes it’s just better to play with your two cute dogs than sit down and break your neck over some character that is likely going to die in chapter 2.

God, I missed ranting on here. Hopefully there is another one tomorrow?

My (Lame) Excuse For Laziness

I have about 8 posts sitting in my drafts folder, collecting dust. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately. Maybe it’s because I no longer have a reliable Internet connection, or maybe because I now have an existing life outside the Interweb, not to mention an actual boyfriend (just thought I’d include him here) that I have to share some (most) of my time with and who actually gives me his answers in some of my inane questions instead of Googling them in the middle of the night like I used to do. Whatever, I’m lazy.

I’ve been meaning to share a lot of my experiences here in The Philippines. Not because I think any of you are actually willing to sit down and read them but because I wanted to write about it while I still can. I can’t believe that I’ve already been back here for 2 months. Well, my savings account will tell you otherwise, but what the hell.

So going back to my laziness. I have no real excuse for it. Something just takes over and I no longer feel the need to actually do anything. It is really odd. Because for a person of my age, who has full control over what I can and cannot do, I like doing laundry than having to sit in front of the computer for 8-16 hours (depends on whether or not I’m re-watching 30 Rock again) like what I was so used to for the past 2 years. Believe it or not (talking to myself here), I haven’t updated my Facebook status in months. Months! I used to have like a snarky status update every other day (depends on the news headlines that day). I haven’t visited Buzzfeed in like….forever! I’m detached to what’s going with the Hillary campaign and I haven’t seen a YouTube video in (and I’m running out of adjectives here) a long long time.

Other reasons may include that my writing has become stale. That my priorities are no longer priorities. That I feel that I have once again, compromised what I really set out to do for something comfortable. I have gone back to my old routine of playing Tekken 6 in my PSP while sitting in the toilet, waiting for my bowels to agree with me (sorry for that image) and while I wait for my next opponent (I’m quite good actually), I think, I should be doing something…productive.

We may all come up with our own excuse for our own laziness but I think we don’t actually have one. All the ones we come up with are nothing short of a sad description of what our current life really is like. But I like how some people can romanticize their own mundane life. That catching up on the latest season of Orphan Black is an actual accomplishment. God Bless those people.

Thoughts on Work, MS Excel Induced Madness and Philippines

This blog has been non-existent in your Reader Roll for a while now. Maybe you don’t miss any of my shenanigans but I sure miss having the free time I used to burn in front of this site.

Here’s what’s new in the work front. We have a new boss and he is really stretching us beyond our limits. Or at least my limits. And when I say limits, it’s my MS Excel limits.

I believe that there are two kinds of people. Those who understand Excel and those who do not and probably do not care. Being good in Excel is like being good in Origami. It’s impressive, but in the grand scheme of things, no one really cares. Unless it’s employer of course. Can I be anymore bitter about Excel??

Besides work, another reason keeping me out of WordPress is my trip to The Philippines. Kind of always pre-occupied about planning and (not) packing and buying stuff. I’m going to be there for 3 months you guys! Actually longer because I only purchased a one way ticket because I have plans baby!

Going away will also mean leaving work and quitting work. That is the best news ever. I have a month more to go of this hellhole and then I’m out. Probably to a deeper darker hellhole, but oh well. Every hellhole is an adventure.

What have you guys been up to lately? Let me know eh? And if you live in the Philippines, hollah!!

Today Could Be THE Day

I could get fired today. Worst case scenario I could get yelled at by my megalomaniac boss, be humiliated and be asked to come to work again next week AND then get fired.

My stomach hurts because of my building anxiety. I have 7 hours more of this work day and I think at one point during the day I’m just going to puke.

I’m not upset about the prospect of me losing my job. I just don’t want to get yelled at.  I hate it. Especially when I have absolutely nothing to do with the whole problem. But for the most part I am part of it because even if I am not the cause of the problem I am part of the solution and I can’t think of one to remedy the situation. 

I keep telling myself, “I hate this job anyway!” But I somehow end up waking up at 6 am to go here. Why? For many various reasons I presume which I have no energy or the stomach to elaborate on right now.

This could be the day where I get a big slap on the face via adulthood.
This could be the day where I finally decide to do something about my life.
Or this could be just any other Thursday.
Either way, I’m living it. So I guess we’ll just have to see.

Dear Funny People

Let’s be friends!

I do this thing called Follow Fridays in my blog where I feature blogs from WordPress, each with a different theme.

And you know how birds of the same feather flock together and all that other stuff they say in the bible(?)? Basically what I’m asking is you let yourselves known so I can pimp you to the masses.

So if you consider yourself a comedian, a person that writes about life and has maybe a low self-esteem or you just love to sip vodka, laugh and waste time on the internet with other self-proclaimed funny people, then please, like this post so we can all be weirdos together.

Okay? Okay.

Thoughts On Singlehood, Internet Anonymity and Nonsense

It’s February, which society or Cosmopolitan magazine tells us is the “love month”. This is also that time of the year where single people are supposedly more miserable or at least that’s what consumerism wants us to believe. Wait what?!

Am I making any sense?!

I find myself making jabs towards my singlehood more often than I think I should. I think I sound like a bitter broken record. But the only reason I do so is because I am single. That is my life right now and I celebrate it. I have no real reasons as to why and I don’t have any aversions to dating. I’m just in a place where I’m not being asked out and I am not interested in anyone date-wise and I am ok with that.

Other people find it disbelieving when you say you’re just fine with being single. Especially if you’re female and in your late 20’s. It’s not that I like/love being single. It’s not that my being single is intentional. It’s just my current state and I am simply ok with it.

Am I making any sense?

Now let’s talk about internet anonymity.

My good friend and blog mom, Margaret wrote this post about her internet identity. Which got me thinking about my internet identity.

This may come as a shock to you but I have real life friends. Friends I’ve met in real life without the barrier of the internet. Most of these “real friends’ are people I met in college so they know me quite well. They know what I’m passionate about, what annoys me and they pretty much tolerate all of these things. With affection of course.

But I have never shared my blog with them or anything internet related that I do.

Here are my thoughts on it.

I think the reason why I don’t let my real life friends in on my internet self is that I’d hate for my blogging to come in the way of anything or vice versa. Blogging is liberating and I get to talk about people in my non-internet life without having to think twice about it.

There is also this (irrational) fear that I have to impress someone that I know outside of the internet and that kind of pressure just gets in the way of my “writing”.

Am I making any sense?!

Please validate my crazy thoughts WordPress! It’s the only way I can function.

This Has Been My Week In YouTube Videos

There is nothing exciting about my life at the moment. My life is spent going to work and coming home from work. Like an endless cycle of monotonous routine. So to escape, I watch YouTube videos. So here are the five YouTube videos that filled the gaping hole in my life.

1.

Golden Globes 2015 being hosted again by my two queens, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Get freaking excited! This 2 minute trailer just cracked me up.

“As a group they are Banksy” – Tina referring to HFPA.

2.

People are talking about this video and for a reason. Jimmy Fallon almost dated Nicole Kidman and he had no idea. That’s good television right there.

3. 

If you’re not convinced that Taylor Swift is a great artist maybe this video would convince you that she’s a great human. Real talk, if I ever become a best selling millionaire musician, I am totally doing the same thing.

4. 

This is why I never buy clothes from the internet.

5. 

Everything I hope and dream of doing in New York. Happy and dying of jealousy. Cee, should watch this and do everything that was done in this video.

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What videos did you watch this week that I missed out on? Let me know in the comments!

Till then, stay alive humans!

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Blogging to the Music of: Jay Z/Alicia Keys’ Empire State of Mind, what else?!

The Purpose of Growing Up

As I get older the more things actually make sense. I used to put moisturizer because my mom makes me do it until it’s been the routine for so long that my face feels naked without it. Then I turn 27 and the whole purpose of moisturizing actually makes sense. It’s such a small trivial thing but it’s finally found it’s purpose after 20 odd years of doing it.

I think the more we get older the more the things that we do has to have a definite purpose before we actually do it. It feels like we spend too much time in thinking about the purpose than actually doing the deed. Is it because we don’t want to waste our time. But what does wasting time even mean?

Some people think that watching YouTube videos for 6 hours a day calculates as time wasted. Why would it be wasted time when I just spent 6 hours educating myself on what my make up starter kit should look like. Or how to poach an egg in 3 simple ways. And most importantly how to use cauliflower as a fettuccini alfredo sauce (it’s sooooo goood!!). So no mom! It’s not wasted time.

My goal in life is to grow old graciously. Moisturize and get away with good looking skin until I’m 40. Educate myself and be in the comforts of my pajamas while doing it. And to continue to find the purpose in my grown up life.

Stay awesome humans!

Blogging to the Music of: John Mulaney’s Stand Up Special New In Town

Here Is What I Wish For You Today

There is a person here at work that I have a crush on. I’m not entirely comfortable with using the term crush but oh well. He is just a guy I fancy, not that I want to start a relationship with him kind of way, but he just makes me feel good when I see him. Like putting on lipstick matters or coming to work on an hour early and see him already here is worth it. And I thought, not everyone gets to have this.

And that is what I wish for you today. May you find someone who makes you smile without really meaning to. Someone who makes you feel that there are things in life you have left to achieve and not having them is okay because life right now is awesome.

Stay alive humans!

P.S. He just passed by!!

My Nightmare Before Christmas

In true Tim Burton fashion, Tim announces her separation with Helena Bonham-Carter around the holidays. What is up with that? It will forever be immortalized in their children’s mental calendars that mummy and daddy separated during Christmas. Maybe even before that, but c’mon!

You know that saying, “It’s an end of an era!” It really does feel like it’s an end to an era. And it’s not just the movies, it’s just knowing that Time and Helena are a couple makes me believe that there is love in the world, the kind of love I get. Am I being weird? That’s Burton for you?

Now let’s all wait for another Depp-Bonham-Burton team up (for the fans) one last time.