women

Is Chick Flicks For Everyone?

Today, I jump start an idea. It was not my best, but still! I wanted to be more productive and I used to use this blog as a way for me to do that. But since I haven’t been exactly “living my life” I decided to make another blog. I know… I know… It seems counter productive to start another project when you’re harboring guilty feelings about not continuing on the previous one. But this is good WordPress!

I thought to myself, what are things I’m good at or just things that I like to do that I can write about? I thought about writing about cooking, which I’m getting very good at, if I do say so myself. But thinking of what to cook for dinner already takes the strength out of me. I thought about writing about the books I read, but who are we kidding. That one’s going to be a very slow blog. And then it came to me, maybe I should start writing about movies again. Again, because I used to have this movie blog that’s gone to the dogs (for good reason).

The problem with me writing about movies is I can’t decide on what movie to watch. And having to “review” a movie takes the fun out of seeing it. So, maybe stick a genre, one that doesn’t take itself too seriously? RomComs came to the rescue. I mean, I love rom-coms, and there are hundreds of them out there. Some, I admit, I’ve seen a lot of times (When Harry Met Sally and Miss Congeniality on the top of my head) and some I haven’t even seen (Moonstruck, Roxanne among others), which is a tragedy. Especially for someone like me who aspires to be a screenwriter and DREAMING of becoming the next Tina Fey – I know Tina didn’t write a rom-com (yet! it could happen!) but she wrote Mean Girls, which is a Chick Flick. And that train of thought has lead me to a blog I will call “Nothing But Chick Flicks” – a blog of movies made FOR women but not necessarily made BY women.

Only dilemma is to put it where? I mean, how many of you WordPress inhabitants would be interested in that kind of thing? Let me know.

 

 

Thoughts on Kids and Not Wanting Them

I don’t often talk about hot button topics like not wanting to have kids. Not because I fear the barrage of negative comments nor do I want people to agree with my personal take on motherhood. I don’t talk about this particular topic, especially in my blog, where it’s immortalized in the Internet – for however long the Internet is here to exist – and also because I’m 28 and I don’t know what my life will be like in the next years to come. But also when you’re a 28-year-old female you are constantly pushed to pressures of being married and child bearing because “you are getting older”.

I don’t remember who I first told that I don’t think I’d want to have kids but I remember the relief that I felt when I finally did. I grew up in a culture where this thinking is unnatural and sometimes seen as a sign of selfishness. And when I am meet with this kind of questioning, I do say, “Yes, I am selfish. And that’s precisely why I don’t want to have kids.”

Another reason why I used to be silent about this is because I was afraid that I am setting myself up for a life of spinsterhood. Again, in my culture, it’s uncommon for a woman to feel this way (I say uncommon because I don’t know anyone in real life who shares my sentiments about motherhood or maybe they are scared of it as I was/am) and the chances of me meeting a partner who could feel the same way is very slim (maybe).

I would want to get married and I think that is something I can be very good at. But it’s important to be with someone who would be open minded to the idea that they can have me as a wife but not as a mother to their children. And I know it takes guts to accept someone like that but it also takes guts to admit to not wanting kids in the first place.

Kids are great! Not all the time of course, but they are amazing vulnerable creatures. I look at my friends who are now mothers and feel a tinge of envy whenever they gab about the progress their kids are having. I’m not envious to the late nights and diaper changing – although I am very good at both – I’m envious that they get to witness first hand the miracle of life. Of seeing someone mold into a person in front of their eyes. That’s something I want to witness but not experience first hand. I want to be a spectator, not a player.

I have a younger brother that I got to, actually, had to, take care of when I was 10. I was 10 and I was in charge of my brother’s well being. Diaper change, feeding, playtime, baths. For about 6 hours a day in the summer of 1998 and onwards, I was my baby brother’s parent. And before you judge my parents, you also have to know that my baby brother is now 18, is in his 2nd year of college, has not had alcohol or smoke cigarette or pot (or at least I know of), is respectful to all humans and God fearing. In short, the exact opposite of me. What I’m saying is, my brother has turned into a very ambitious independent (he is living on his own in a foreign country after living in a very secluded non 3rd world place) human being and I had a hand in making him that way. And maybe it wasn’t ideal to leave your 1 year old with a 10 year old, but that’s what my parents had to do to cut down on money on baby sitting. I had to grow up a lot faster than others, and you know what I don’t regret any of that.

The point is, I can take care of kids. I am great at taking care of them. Hand me over your toddler and I will wear them out while you go have a relaxing day at the movies where you can finally watch that R-rated film everyone is talking about BUT pick them up later in the day. It’s not about the lack of feeling maternal. What does that exactly mean anyway? I think anyone can be maternal. And I especially believe that you don’t have to want kids to prove that.

There are plenty more other reasons why I don’t speak about not wanting to have kids. I am sensitive to other people’s feelings and I am not punk rock like other people who claim that they don’t care what other people think.

I know people who have had a hard time raising kids or just having one. And although I am admittedly selfish, I know the feeling of wanting something and not having it at the time when you want it the most. It is very painful. Although my views are on the opposing side, I don’t shut down people who want to have kids and feel like they would be great mother’s. I have started this thing where I don’t judge people based on their choices no matter how easy it is sometimes more so because I don’t want them to do that to me. Have I stated enough how selfish I am.

This post is not here to convince you to feel the same way as I do nor am I justifying my choices in the matter. I am simply writing this all down because I was inspired by this post (and also this) and feel that I should not be ashamed of my decision over my own body.

I don’t know a lot of things but what I know is this. Children are amazing and they require a lot of patience and love that I don’t think I’ll be able to give. And it would be even more selfish of me to bring one more child in this over populated world if I am not 100% all in all for finding out if my life would be complete or not. I admire all parents, especially mine, because they know that life is hard but they continuously battle through it and parents have given other humans a chance to live and become the greats that we now know to be. That although I refuse to mother my own children I want to take care of other children, for a certain amount of time. I am supportive to all of my friends who are now parenting their own kids, to my friends who would want to have their own kids someday and to all of my friends who also feel the same way as I do.

And to women of my age who may be going through the same pressures of “doing it all”. Don’t give in to the pressure. You’re great no matter what your choices in the matter are. Unless you’re a serial killer then what are you doing reading this blog?! You have some serial killing to NOT do because it is illegal and hurtful you piece of shit.

Happy International Women’s Day!

It’s International Women’s Day today, so I want to greet all my uterus carrying bad asses a happy day!

To tell you the truth, I still hesitate referring myself as a woman. I’ve always associated the word to an older female, someone wiser, someone who have already accomplished more than ten things in her life, and I just don’t see myself there yet. But in celebration of today, I’d like to list down (some of) ten (not in any particular order) of my favorite women. Women who have inspired me and just makes me so god damn proud I’m a woman. Spoiler alert: Tina Fey will be here, obviously.

  • Joanne Rowling

“We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better”

Who taught me that books can change lives. And how writing can be monetizing.

  • Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta

“We need fantasy to survive because reality is too difficult.”

Who taught me that making a moniker for yourself is perfectly OK. And also disco sticks.

  • Vera Mindy Chokalingam

“this whole foods frozen indian tv dinner i just ate is terrible, why did I never learn to cook the cuisine of my ancestors”

Who taught me that flirting, if done right, is OK. And how to rock a dark lip.

  • Amy Meredith Poehler

“No one looks stupid when they’re having fun.”

Who taught me that marriage that end in divorce is still a success. And a cackling laugh is a major asset.

  • Sarah Kate Silverman

“Mother Theresa didn’t walk around complaining about her thighs – she had shit to do.”

Who taught me that women can pull off a penis joke as well as any man. And brunettes can too have more fun.

  • Amy Beth Schumer

“I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story – I will.”

Who taught me that it’s OK to make fun of your friends. Especially when they really deserve it.

  • Malala Yousafzai

“Extremists have shown what frightens them most: A girl with a book.”

Who taught me that kids can make a difference. And also how to make Jon Stewart fall in love with you.

  • Björk Guðmundsdóttir

“It takes a long time to fully become who you are.”

Who was the very first person who taught me that it’s more than OK to be weird. And also I can marry a cat.

  • Kathryn Ann Bigelow

“I think the secret to directing is collaborating”

Who taught me how much women can be so courageous. And how to be classy when you’re sitted in front of your ex-husband in Oscars.

  • Elizabeth Stamatina Fey

“I’ve been reading the ‘50 Most Beautiful People’ issue for years, and there’s always one person on the list who makes you think, ‘Give me a fucking break.’ This year, I’m proud to be that person.”

Who taught me so much it’s ridiculous.


So which woman inspires you? Are you following my blog? Maybe you should. Since it’s Women’s Day and all.

Thoughts on Turtlenecks and Breasts

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I’m wearing a turtleneck today and man is it the most annoying clothing in the world. I have not found a reason to wear a thong or a g-string but turtlenecks are the thongs of collars. Am I right?! Geez! I look cute but I feel like I’m being choke hold by a baby!

On another note, I know my breasts are in a bad angle in that photo but I guess breasts have their good days and bad days too. What men don’t know is that the aesthetic of a lady’s breast depends on the support or the bra as we call it. I mean you can own a pair of boobs that can stunt double for Kate Winslet but if your bra is a padless wireless non-supporting piece of cloth then…well it can still stunt double Kate Winslet’s I guess.

Another thing that some men may be oblivious about is that bras are a huge pain in the butt! It’s basically a turtleneck collar for breasts in terms of uncomfortable. And no we can’t go braless or else we would have, so stop suggesting!