humanity

Haircuts And The Way They Make Me Feel

Believe it or not, a blog post was supposed to be published last Friday but my internet crashed and so here I am making an attempt at another one.

I have no real excuse as to why I haven’t been writing here, but a lot of it has to do with unreliable internet. And also because of having little to no inspiration or little to no motivation or both.

But here’s something that I want to talk about. Haircuts. Yeah, haircuts.

I had a haircut done yesterday. No big deal, just a little bit of the bottom where all the splitends lie and I realized how little amountĀ of my hair I’m willing to part with. I used to be adventurous with my hair, either dyeing it a different color every 3-4 months or cutting my own bangs or that one drunken night I purposefully cut ONLY one side of my head (which is a different story for later), but now, I’m just a big pussy about it.

So what am I getting at with this haircut rant? I’ll get to my point, I promise.

Hair is something that grows either I deal with it or not – unless you’re permanently bald then I’m sorry – but I can’t seem to commit with a simple haircut says a lot about myself and who I’m becoming as an adult person.

I’m less adventurous. Less willing to do anything that will somehow change my life. And it’s scaring me the more that I type this confession.

Is this the reason why I’m still unemployed? Why I write so little and blame the lack of inspiration as an excuse?? Why I fail at so many things this past few years? Why I’ve been avoiding my parents calls? Just a bunch of repressed feelings that are trying to crawl back up just because of a stupid haircut.

Sure, I got rid of my splitends but my hair still feels dry and for the life of me, is still unbrushed. Will my hair be forever in a tight bun to mask my ineptitude to make it look like prettier hair? I don’t think I want to be THAT person.

So maybe that haircut served a real (and better) purpose. It was a wakeup call. To do something REAL with my life. No ifs and or butts.

And I think realizing and talking about my issues – and putting it in a blog post is a real sign that I am trying.

 

Thoughts on Dependency, Maroon 5 and Bjork

You’ve heard the made up statistics. The people of today are so dependent in technology. And why shouldn’t we? Why should we deny ourselves the convenience of downloading a newspaper app so that we can pretend to ourselves that we actually care about the news, when in truth we really just zone in to what’s trending on Twitter.

I am a millenial and I depend on technology for almost everything. I need to learn how to cook, I go to YouTube. I need to know who did what on this date, I go to Wikipedia. Recently, I found that my mood is also dependent on whatever media I consume. My attitude towards the day can be very easily manipulated by filling myself with whatever media depending on what I wanted to feel that day at that time. You know, like a robot.

The fastest and most efficient way for me to do this is to listen to music. I’ve been alternating between Maroon 5’s and Bjork’s new albums lately.

I like Maroon 5’s pop rock infused with synth sounds that you can dance to. An unpopular opinion but Maroon 5’s beats makes me feel…happier? I have no solid preferences when it comes to bands but I like any song that would make me want to dance. Or awkwardly move.

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Maroon 5's V

Bjork’s new album on the other hand is a real Debbie Downer. Described numerously as Bjork’s break up album and “the saddest Bjork album” it is really the epitomy of melancholy.

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Bjork's Vulnicura

Look, I love Bjork. Heck, I worship her. But unless you want to lie down on the floor and think of all the times you’ve been hurt then stay away from this one. Or at least during the day time if you want to be a functioning adult.

So what I’m trying to say is I’m a heartless robot that requires music to feel things.