Haircuts And The Way They Make Me Feel

Believe it or not, a blog post was supposed to be published last Friday but my internet crashed and so here I am making an attempt at another one.

I have no real excuse as to why I haven’t been writing here, but a lot of it has to do with unreliable internet. And also because of having little to no inspiration or little to no motivation or both.

But here’s something that I want to talk about. Haircuts. Yeah, haircuts.

I had a haircut done yesterday. No big deal, just a little bit of the bottom where all the splitends lie and I realized how little amount of my hair I’m willing to part with. I used to be adventurous with my hair, either dyeing it a different color every 3-4 months or cutting my own bangs or that one drunken night I purposefully cut ONLY one side of my head (which is a different story for later), but now, I’m just a big pussy about it.

So what am I getting at with this haircut rant? I’ll get to my point, I promise.

Hair is something that grows either I deal with it or not – unless you’re permanently bald then I’m sorry – but I can’t seem to commit with a simple haircut says a lot about myself and who I’m becoming as an adult person.

I’m less adventurous. Less willing to do anything that will somehow change my life. And it’s scaring me the more that I type this confession.

Is this the reason why I’m still unemployed? Why I write so little and blame the lack of inspiration as an excuse?? Why I fail at so many things this past few years? Why I’ve been avoiding my parents calls? Just a bunch of repressed feelings that are trying to crawl back up just because of a stupid haircut.

Sure, I got rid of my splitends but my hair still feels dry and for the life of me, is still unbrushed. Will my hair be forever in a tight bun to mask my ineptitude to make it look like prettier hair? I don’t think I want to be THAT person.

So maybe that haircut served a real (and better) purpose. It was a wakeup call. To do something REAL with my life. No ifs and or butts.

And I think realizing and talking about my issues – and putting it in a blog post is a real sign that I am trying.

 

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