I admit, I am NOT a morning person. I just am not. If you’ve been hanging out in this blog for a while now, first of all, “thank you!”, second, “really?!”. Also you’d know that I have a lot of aggression in me that I like to spread laboriously in forms of blog posts. People in IRL (that’s In Real Life to those of you who don’t Internet speak) know that I am not to be messed with in the morning and in turn I do not talk to anyone in the morning, even after I’ve had my coffee. I don’t know why. I have this rage issue (that I seriously need to address the minute I can afford therapy) that doubles up when the sun comes out. But as an adult you can’t just go around being a bitch and not bear the consequences. Trust me, I have. So, as best I can I have made several steps to turn my frown upside down.
DON’T say Good Morning
Just don’t. It’s better to not say it when you really don’t mean it. And I don’t most of the time. People here at work know that I’m not that girl who says “hi!” first or asks you how your weekend was, and they understand me for it. God bless!
As a kid I have incredibly dumb philosophies about almost everything (which infuriates my parents to this day) including saying “Good Morning”. I say, “say it when you only mean it”. It’s like saying “I Love You” and very different from having to say “Thank You”. When you greet people a “Good Morning” people will assume that you are having a good morning. And when you’re really not, that could pose a problem. So what if people think you’re having a bad day?! People should learn to leave people alone anyway especially when they’re having a bad day.
Some time ago, I talked about how I can manipulate my mood by listening to music. If you really want to start your day as a bawling mess, listen to Bjork’s new album Vulnicura. Trust me, it’s a real Debbie Downer. But since you want to feel like a less piece of shit aim for something more upbeat. Personally, anything that takes me back to my years in College, when I can still wake up with a hang over and still go to a 7am class and ace a test, is something that always makes me smile. I’d like to believe I have better taste in music now but man oh man, anything Fall Out Boy or Taking Back Sunday really gets me going. And if I really need a serious “get me out of bed before I call in sick” I refer to the forever 90’s kid in me and unleash my MTv era playlist. Ace of Base? I got it! Chubawamba? Have it! The Best of Britney Spears? Duh! Any music that you love, just don’t think too much about it. You can always get back to listening to your holier than though podcasts later.
You guys know I’m a YouTube whore. That I love to binge watch YouTube videos and not an actual whore that upload whorish videos on YouTube – sorry to disappoint. I’m the kind of person who wakes up before the alarm rings and then sleeps again and then wakes up frantically because the alarm went off 5 minutes ago. Now that I have full access to wifi, I wake up and immediately go to YouTube to wake up my brain. I’m the kind of stupid who would rather watch someone else do a 5 minute morning stretch than actually do it. I know, I’m the worst. Lately however, I’ve been relying on BuzzFeed videos to start my morning right-ish. Americans trying Filipino Street Food for the first time really gets my blood flowing, also makes me feel super bad ass for having the (useless) ability to stomach animal intestines. You don’t have to watch BuzzFeed videos per se. Just anything quick (or if it’s longish watch it while you’re getting ready) and something you’re not super invested in. If it’s watching unboxing videos for you, well, you do you.
P.S. Watching other people’s “Morning Routine” is the best
I don’t regularly do this. I find that I am not good when it comes to exercising on purpose. Don’t get me wrong, I would walk miles but not for the purpose of exercise but for the fact that traffic is the worst and I would rather walk/sweat than sit in my butt for four wasteful hours. I feel silly when I exercise so I usually limit it to squats and jumping jacks, just enough to fool myself that I am actually doing my body good.
I have a very sensitive stomach, especially in the morning. I cannot drink anything cold before lunch or else it’s diarrhea city. In fact I don’t eat anything at all after I’ve had a shower or what I’d like to call “my dose of reality”. Some people highly rely on caffeine to start their day right. It can ruin you in the long run but there’s something about coffee that is oh so sweet. Lately though, I’ve been drinking green tea more because of other (lactose) issues. So choose your morning poison carefully. Do you want a quick fix? Get coffee. You want to drink something warm and feel superior than everyone else? Drink green tea. Or be that kind of person who juices vegetables in the morning. Be that person everyone loves to hate but secretly aspires to be.
Read/Look at gifs
“But Dora! How do you expect me, a corporate working, fast paced living, technology using freak expect to read?! To read??!”
Ok, you need to calm down. Reading materials are available everywhere now and it comes in different sizes too. In fact, newspapers now come in a “choose your own adventure” type of format. It can be as short as 300 words or as long as this blog post. Segue to: You can read my blog.
This is very self serving, but for goodness sake, read my blog! Mostly because I’m a mess, and nothing is more invigorating than knowing that someone else in this world is having a hard time. Seriously, I invite you to laugh with me. Reading is cool again thanks to Kindle, so get yourself an ebook, or read an actual book. And if you want it to be super digestible sign up on Tumblr and just scroll through your dashboard. Done and done!
Just take everything one step at a time. Not being a morning person is not a crime. In fact, it’s one of the few things we let people get away with. So if you’re having a hard time adjusting to another day of living, just repress it until you realize you’re halfway done through your shift and closer to going back to your Game of Thrones marathon. Or do what I do, blog incessantly before doing any actual work at work. Beats having to lash out at someone anytime.
So there you go! Those are some of my ways to combat the morning blues. Tell me, do you have more less stupid ways to go through another day? On a scale of 1-10 how dumb do you think this post is? Also, who do you think is the hotter Hemsworth brother? Chris right?!