Thoughts About Turning 28

I turned 28 today. Now, I’m not much for celebrating. In fact as a kid, I denounced birthdays, or just my birthday, because I thought it preposterous that someone is to be made special on the day that they we’re born when they didn’t do anything at all to make it happen. But that’s not to say I don’t like the gifts and the cake and the greetings. So, this year, I’m making a change. I’m embracing 28. So my gift to you, dear reader, are 28 things about being 28, since I’m an expert and all.

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Brooding since 1987

1. Money, if not already, is a constant problem. Not enough money. What to do with money. Where to economically spend money. How to invest money. Seriously, why is stocks so complicated?!

2. You would have probably attended someone’s wedding, been asked to be a Godmother/Godfather to a friend’s baby and/or consoled someone through someone’s separation.

3. You have at least one anti-aging product – even though you have a feeling it’s all placebo.

4. You have started to take care of your body more. Exercising, or at least trying. Have considered being a pescetarian/vegetarian/vegan. Have switched to non-dairy milk because your 28-year-old body can’t handle the real thing anymore.

5. You have at least one panic episode a day. Even over “little” things. Not having enough phone battery for your 4 hour commute. Panic. Fumbling for the right amount of money at the grocery check out counter. Panic. Someone eating your leftover pizza. Panic, and fuming anger.

6. You are less rude to people mostly because you can’t afford to be in a conflict. Because let’s face it, conflict is exhausting.

7. Dating sounds…exhausting, but also necessary.

8. A part of your body will constantly hurt, ever reminding you that you are deteriorating along with time. You’d be lucky if it’s just one part of your body.

9. Twitter confuses you. Redditt confuses you. Pinterest insterests you. You’re a millenial, yet, Facebook confuses you.

10. Teenagers terrify you. You avoid any interaction with a teenager unless they refer to you as someone “cool”.

11. By now, you should have better relationships with your siblings. It is of importance that you have better relationships with your siblings.

12. By now, you pretty much know who you’re going to hang out with for the rest of your life. You know, you’re pretty much decided on who you’re going to save in an apocalypse.

13. You still think Uncle Jesse is hot.

I MEAN…LOOK!!!

14. Food wise, you’re going to start to dislike a lot of things you used to really like.

15. Making plans makes you anxious.

16. Cancelling plans gives you major relief.

17. You ignore Facebook friend requests. Unless…

18. You become more sensitive and would tear up over a YouTube video.

19. Speaking of YouTube videos, you spend about 6 hours a day (10 on a weekend) watching Blackhead Popping videos. Seriously, it’s like a piece of poetry.

20. You are genuinely interested in politics and know, albeit vaguely, about the Gaza Strip, Obama’s Politics, who’s in the running for the 2016 Philippine Presidential Elections and you have an answer to the question left-wing/right-wing.

21. You would have started to wear make-up. Growing facial hair is the male equivalent.

22. You have at least one self help book in your house and if you don’t, you should.

23. Being single at 28, for too long, is detrimental.

24. Feminism is important.

25. You have accepted that your thighs and arms will never be slimmer, or until you finally decide on a gym membership. You have accepted you’ll never be taller. Your gap tooth is your favorite thing about you. You just love your body more.

26. You’ve started to learn how to mix your own drink. #soboss

27. You relish in being called a bitch. You don’t like being called “cute”. You value people who call you Ma’am/Madam/Miss. You roll your eyes, hard, when you’re addressed as “sweetheart”, “honey”, “young lady”, and worst of all, “girl”.

28. Your favorite quote is:

“When choosing sexual partners, remember: Talent is not sexually transmittable.”

Tina Fey, Bossypants

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