One of the many things that I shun away from the internet are wedding proposal videos. I don’t care if it’s captioned as the “sweetest proposal ever” and it’s flooded with comments of praise and jealousy, or it’s a gay dog proposing to it’s koala partner for many years, I will refuse to watch such video and will click the “I don’t want to see this” button, faster than you can say “yes” to the question: shall we get fries for the table?
I am a robot that refuses to be programmed with humanly feelings other than hunger and cynicism, so anything that has the possibility of making me cry, or even slightly well up, I walk away from.
I don’t think I’m coming off as a very nice person with this post. So let me explain myself. I have a serious tear duct issue. Which means I tear up at the most benign things in the universe. It’s a good and a bad thing I think. We have this impression that crying sad is reserved for the most depressing moments in our life and crying happy is reserved for watching Lupita Nyong’o’s Oscar acceptance speech. And anytime you cry in between that invisible scale is equal to Kim Kardashian crying over…well…how her brother disses her “ugly crying face”.
So back to wedding proposals. I was watching one the other day, accidentally, and I immediately wanted to click on that red x on the upper right of the page but I remembered the words of the great Louis C.K during his interview on Conan:
Just be sad. Just let the sadness, stand in the way of it, and let it hit you like a truck.
And I let it come, and I just started to feel ‘oh my God,’and I pulled over and I just cried like a bitch. I cried so much. And it was beautiful. Sadness is poetic. You’re lucky to live sad moments.
And then I had happy feelings. Because when you let yourself feel sad, your body has antibodies, it has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness. So I was grateful to feel sad, and then I met it with true, profound happiness. It was such a trip.
The thing is, because we don’t want that first bit of sad, we push it away with a little phone or a jack-off or the food. You never feel completely sad or completely happy, you just feel kinda satisfied with your product, and then you die. So that’s why I don’t want to get a phone for my kids.
So I watched that wedding proposal and braced myself for the tears and the feels. But the lady said “no”! Which was sad but not cry sad, just angry sad! That was a rough video. It was so rough I’m not even gonna include the link for the video. Back to the drawing board then.
Tell me in the comments, what was the most tear jerking video you’ve seen on the internet and I’ll try to brave thru it.