Letters To Future Me – Podcast Ideas and Advice Columns

postcard_ask_tell2

Dear Future Me (and other reader),

I’ve always been bad at feeling and emotions. Owning up to them or acknowledging them. I repress a lot, and I know enough to know that it’s not healthy to repress, but that’s what I do. That’s why I like to watch movies that makes you cry, that is about the only time I let myself feel whatever it is that I’m feeling. But in the real world, where, let’s say a friend is pouring her heart in front of me, I would just be shocked still, too afraid that if I move, do anything to console her, she’ll cry more and louder. I’m not the best friend to be around for those moments.

I’ve kept a diary since I was in 6th grade because writing makes me feel better. I usually start a blog account because I was exceptionally feeling shitty that day and I thought that I would be braver at confronting my feelings if I type them all down. But even with the safety of anonymity, I just can’t seem to allow myself to be truthful that this makes me sad, or that makes me angry, or this is depressing me…it’s a tough way to live. One thing I would admit to is that I am good at lying to people and to myself about my true feelings. When someone does something horrible to me and confronts me about it, I go, “I’m fine. I was not hurt it all”, but deep inside I’m diarrhea. Just wet and painful and suppressed.

The reason why I’m writing this is I was thinking of starting a podcast. I don’t even want to label it as a podcast because podcast is like a professional term that I shouldn’t use for this “idea” that I have. I originally wanted to write an advice column type blog, thinking that it would help me better myself in addressing my own emotions and shit if I get to talk about (and help) other people with their issues. Think Andrew W.K, just less cool.

So I don’t know, maybe this will happen, maybe it won’t. I mean, I don’t know enough people who would voluntarily as me questions let alone advice.

But if any of you gets to read this, and you have like a thing you want to talk about with someone, maybe we can start here. Send me a comment, or email me at dora.argh@gmail.com. No subject is taboo. You can remain anonymous. Or if you just want to talk, add me on Facebook (same email). But if no one would respond I think it’s already cool that I at least had the strength to say and admit how much I suck. I guess that’s step one, right?

P.S. – Are we still bad at admitting to our true feelings? If yes, go out and appreciate the beauty of the world. If no, update this post.

Advertisements

3 comments

  1. Always here for you if you need to chat Dora. Nothing is taboo. I think the podcast idea is a good one. I won’t say don’t be too harsh on yourself, but that would be hypocritical of me. I will say this. I will be gentler to myself if you do the same.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s